Female
Photography
Female photography is both an art and a science
according to some. But, they are wrong. Female photography including
photos of women is purely a science of pleasing pictures as there
is no art to it. Now, this idea of female pictures may go against
all common sense, reason and intuition, but who needs those things
anyway?
Female photography is a science, pure and simple.
You set the girl or woman on a chair, adjust the lighting, take
meter readings and when the numbers are perfect, you pop the flash
and take female pictures again and again until you're lucky enough
to get something usable. Capturing captivating women in photos is
more luck than anything else.
The science of female photography dictates that because of the
laws of probability, the more photos one takes of the subject, the
more likely it is that a usable picture will occur.
Critics will argue that female photography is an art because of
the subjectivity of framing, focus, cropping, lighting, color, film
choice and all of the other decisions that go into making a pleasing
portrait. All of this, of course if poppycock.
Others would argue this is merely balderdash that only rises to the
level of being poppycock if provoked and encouraged. Now, let's be
reasonable a moment and just entertain the concept of female photography
as an art instead of a science.
Was the Mona Lisa a photograph? No. Was Venus de Milo a photo?
No. Was Whistler's Mother a silver halide picture? No. So, let's
recap. The most famous women in art of all time have nothing to
do with females in photography.
Female photography is thus a science and not an art. Case closed.
If you'd like to reopen the case then do so at your own peril. The
case already stated is pretty strong and will hold up in court in
at least 13 states and the commonwealth of Puerto Rico.
In order to present your case that female photography is indeed
an art form and women in photos is simply a sub-genre, then your
attorney will have to present three letters of recommendation from
an accredited college in Switzerland, two forms of identification
sanctioned by the Homeland Security council and one very large bribe
approved by the Commissioner of Baseball.
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A few illicit steroids in a plain white
envelop wouldn't hurt the case either. In fact, photos of
this substance will also be valued as well.
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So, let's recap what we already know about female pictures. First
you put the girl on a chair, then adjust the lighting and finally,
click the shutter button on the camera. It matters not whether one
has a high end digital camera or a low end throw away camera. What
matters most in female photography is actually the female subject
that is chosen. Women in photos do not choose themselves and that
is why we must do so.
Choose a hot babe to photograph and who cares if the lense isn't
tack sharp? Choose Hulga the broom lady and viewers will beg for
the pictures to be a little fuzzy.
If you've not guessed already this site is filled with all sorts
of humorous information and insight regarding female photography
and women in photos is not to be taken seriously in the least (or
in the most). Those who do take this site seriously will be reprimanded
by a special committee of Congress. You don't want that now do you?
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