Female
Photography
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Female
photography is both an art and a science according to some.
But, they are wrong. Female photography is purely a science
as there is no art to it. Now, this idea of female photography
may go against all common sense, reason and intuition, but
who needs those things anyway?
Female
photography is a science, pure and simple. You set the girl
or woman on a chair, adjust the lighting, take meter readings
and when the numbers are perfect, you pop the flash and take
a photo again and again until you're lucky enough to get something
usable.
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The science of female photography dictates that because of the
laws of probability, the more photos one takes of the subject, the
more likely it is that a usable picture will occur.
Critics will argue that female photography is an art because of
the subjectivity of framing, focus, cropping, lighting, color, film
choice and all of the other decisions that go into making a pleasing
portrait. All of this, of course if poppycock.
Others would argue this is merely balderdash that only rises to the
level of being poppycock if provoked and encouraged. Now, let's be
reasonable a moment and just entertain the concept of female photography
as an art instead of a science.
Was the Mona Lisa a photograph? No. Was Venus de Milo a photo?
No. Was Whistler's Mother a silver halide picture? No. So, let's
recap. The most famous women in art of all time have nothing to
do with females in photography.
Female photography is thus a science and not an art. Case closed.
If you'd like to reopen the case then do so at your own peril. The
case already stated is pretty strong and will hold up in court in
at least 13 states and the commonwealth of Puerto Rico.
In order to present your case that female photography is indeed
an art form, then your attorney will have to present three letters
of recommendation from an accredited college in Switzerland, two
forms of identification sanctioned by the Homeland Security council
and one very large bribe approved by the Commissioner of Baseball.
A few illicit steroids in a plain white envelop wouldn't hurt the
case either. In fact, photos of this substance will also be valued
as well.
So, let's recap what we already know about female photography.
First you put the girl on a chair, then adjust the lighting and
finally, click the shutter button on the camera. It matters not
whether one has a high end digital camera or a low end throw away
camera. What matters most in female photography is actual the female
subject that is chosen.
Choose a hot babe to photograph and who cares if the lense isn't
tack sharp? Choose Hulga the broom lady and viewers will beg for
the pictures to be a little fuzzy.
If you've not guessed already this site is filled with all sorts
of humorous information and insight regarding female photography
and is not to be taken seriously in the least. Those who do take
this site seriously will be reprimanded by a special committee of
Congress. You don't want that now do you?
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